Prologue

Before I found Blogger, I had started on Tumblr. Then I forgot my password, gave up, and never thought about it again.
Until today, when I stumbled on it again. I figured out which password I had used, read the entries I had made (all 3 of them), and decided to share them with you.
So here is the link:



I shared this on another blog I write, but it has so much more meaning here - hindsight and all that.
When I ran across this today it brought tears to my eyes. So much has happened since then. I wish I had known what I was looking at, at the time.
I'm so grateful it didn't go worse that it did.

Update: Having issues getting the link to work, but here's the url to copy.
http://phoebigail.tumblr.com/

Holidays

My girl is on a plane early in the morning to spend Christmas with her dad. 

I'm glad she's getting to go, but I'll be happier when she gets back. 

I worry about what could happen when she's gone, even though I know she's much stronger than she was, and she knows she can call me at any time if there's an issue. 

I still hate when she's gone. 

At 15, she is still my light in the darkness of the world. 

Lonely Girl

My girl is lonely.
We've talked about clubs. We've looked into lgbt groups. We've discussed a homeschooling group.
We get as far as talking about returning to public school, and then we hit a brick wall.
Our next meeting with the therapist will be focused on creating a plan to overcome her fear of people, and discussing anti-anxiety options.
I remember feeling lonely as a kid, not knowing how or where to make friends. And I went to public school.

Playing

The little playing with Anya, our 10 month old Great Pyrenees.

Childhood Shouldn't Suck

I hear people say all the time "I survived childhood, my kid will too".

Or "being a kid sucks".

Frankly, my childhood did suck. But I don't think childhood has to suck!

Things that suck about being a kid :

School

Bullies

Lack of control of your life

Difficult family situations

School is designed to teach kids to conform. Some actual education may happen along the way, but it isn't the primary function. School is about raising your hand, fitting in, and being obedient. If you're different or weird, you get bullied, sometimes by adults. Personal learning styles are not taken into account, and if your family is dysfunctional, you're basically screwed.

So I homeschool. I allow my kids to learn however they learn best, in a safe environment. I let them have input in their education. We can cover the material as fast or slow as necessary. And they know that no matter what happens, they can come to me. Even if it's bad or scary. I listen to them, take them seriously, and love them without strings. I spend my days with them, and don't look forward to "back to school". The world is our school, and we take breaks when we need them, not because a calendar says so. 

I can accept that this life isn't for everyone, but my family thrives in it.

So I'll continue to homeschool.